February 2, 2015 Winter

I was born in winter so you would think I would rather enjoy this season but that couldn't be further from the truth (much like being a sun sign but yearning to be near water). Where I grew up, -40 was typical winter weather. Whether I celebrated my birthday with friends depended on whether or not the car would start (yes, we had to plug in our car every day in winter). 

I just assumed frigid winters were the norm everywhere in Canada until I started watching weather reports from across the country. Mild temperatures, rain even in some places?! I was flabbergasted. Snow and winter jackets while trick or treating wasn't common? Children everywhere didn't go to school from November to March wearing skidoo pants, toques, parkas and scarves wrapped around their foreheads? 

Well, I grew up and moved away but strangely I didn't pick my new city based on better winter conditions (what was I thinking?). The winters are generally milder here but there is a greater accumulation of snow. Still, winter is winter - cold, dark, snowy, dull. Spring, summer and fall are so full of color, life, bird song, thunderstorms, boat rides, outdoor living, relaxing, gardening. I could go on and on.....winter? shovelling, freezing, white-knuckled driving, shovelling, shovelling, shovelling. Did I mention shovelling?

I have tried to love enjoy winter. I've snowshoed (way too much work!), skied downhill (when I was young!), snowmobiled, ice fished, skated. Nothing has worked, well maybe tobagganing - that's probably the funnest thing you can do in winter.

That's not to say I don't encourage my children to get outside in the winter - they skate, tobaggan, ride horses and downhill ski. We did have one beautiful evening in January this year - the one mild night of 2015. The snow was falling and it was beautiful. My husband and youngest girl tried downhill skiing for the first time in their lives - kudos. My oldest was off on her own, she is a little pro. I pulled baby in his sleigh with one hand and towed one or the other girls with my other from time to time so it was fun and I got a work out too. Then we got home and because it was so nice the girls and I pulled out the sled and tobagganed down our hill in the dark for half an hour (here' a picture from the top of it). It was fun I have to admit. The girls had a blast - great memories! 

Still, I am counting the days until we can hit the campground and get out on the water together!

Beautiful?

April 13, 2014 A New Life Begins

I am in my early forties and was settling into mid-life with our two girls ages 8 and 4. Life is easy at this age -no diapers, no baby bags and we can go places and do things easily. Given this, we finally bought a boat last summer to really enjoy the many lakes and rivers around here. There is nothing more disheartening than spending summer after summer waving to passing boaters from the dock. 

But, life is funny that way. Just when you think you've moved into a new phase and accept you are getting older, it throws you a curve ball. Our curve ball came in the form of an overnight trip to Montreal last July long weekend. The girls and grandma in one room, Hunter and I alone in another. We normally have one of the girls in our bed on any given night, and with Grandma living far away, this was a real treat and we enjoyed ourselves! Don't really need to say more do I?

Fast forward to March of this year.....and we are the proud parents of a new baby boy! Unexpected but no less cherished. He is adorable and of course fawned over by his sisters and us. I think three times is the charm. Being pregnant and more than just a little over 40, I was concerned how this pregnancy would go. My OB told me to stay in shape, my family doctor told my husband and I that pregnancy is tough at my age and she wouldn't want to be pregnant at 40. However it was my best pregnany of all three. Yes, I needed some Diclectin early on for nausea but I don't think I threw up once. Now with my girls, the morning sickness was horrendous and long-lived. Yet here I was and 40+, 9 months pregnant and I can't tell you how many people told me how good I looked! 

The delivery was slick....I was at 2cm which I had been for a few days.  I was napping just before my nurse went on morning break. While she was gone, my contractions became progressively closer together until I felt his head moving down. Another nurse who was watching my monitor came in and checked me - fully dilated! When my nurse came back from coffee break, I was already pushing. Ten minutes later and baby was in my arms.

It was been three weeks since we transitioned to a Family of 5 and it has gone smoothly. I have learned to appreciate and relish every moment of babyhood (our first baby just celebrated her 8th birthday!). Sure we may not get out on the boat much this summer, if at all, but he'll be outfishing his Dad before you know it.

Life is good!

December 26, 2012 Boxing Day

It is appropriate that today is Boxing Day, I still feel like I've gone several rounds in the ring with a middle weight champion. Sick! At Christmas of all the times. We didn't even have turkey dinner but I did manage to get the bird in the oven on Christmas Day. So we had warmed up turkey and stuffing from a nice red box and gravy from a package today. But the four of us were together and hey, it tasted pretty good just the same.

Simmerin' Summer - August 8, 2012

With August now begun, we are already starting  the last month of summer vacation and I will have both girls at home with me until  school starts in late August (my next post will focus on sibling rivalry!).

It has been the hottest and driest summer I have ever known. Perhaps one good rainstorm over the last two or more months. Our grass is fried brown, many of the trees have turned color and dropped their leaves. It looks like October. We are worried about our water supply - with no rain to recharge the well we are conscious of every drop we use. The  girls so want to use their slippy slide mat but that  requires a running hose and we just can 't waste the water like that.

Grandma is coming to visit next week for Breeze's third birthday. We are going to rent a pontoon boat for the day on a big lake a few hours south of here. I hope Mother Nature keeps her humor in check and doesn't decide to finally send rain on that one particular day!

June 30 2012 Summer Vacation Begins

I feel like a school girl again! Summer vacation has officially begun  for both Storm and myself - I took the summer off!! This is a first....and it hasn't really sunk in yet. We're in another transition period though so it won't be a typical restful summer. My husband has been laid-off and we may be relocating so there could end up being a lot of things to accomplish....but there is still time to read:

Currently, it is Diana Gabaldon's Scottish Prisoner - one of the Lord John Gray novels but with Jamie Fraser having a central role. I miss Claire though who only surfaces through Jamie's memories of her.
Still, with the Jamie and Claire series having come to an end, I am delighted to find Jamie once again. I have been reading these novels since at least the early 90s - now that's hard to believe!!

February 4, 2012

It has been far too long since I last made a blog entry. Lots has happened over the last year - new jobs for both my husband and I. Our oldest started Kindergarten and the youngest daycare. We still have our two cats and two dogs although one has been quite sick lately. Up every night to let him out, at least once usually more, it is like having a baby in the house again.

I am still searching for that perfect job - rewarding, enjoyable, and one that makes a difference. I dabbled with trying to start my own bookstore last year and it was close but it did not happen. It wasn't meant to be I guess, at least not right now. Do you watch the Cupcake Girls on the Oprah Network? It's my new favorite show and everytime I watch it, my entrepeneurial fire flares up. Not to mention it is filmed on the west coast - I so want us to live there - next to the ocean, mild winter, majestic mountains. What's not to like? Well okay the housing prices are outrageous but you have to think of it as an investment. Buy now and the kids will inherit something substantial. Until then, I have to tolerate the cold, the snow, and the icky winter - icy roads, darkness, and being stuck inside until spring. Blah.

July 19, 2011 A quiet day at home

A head cold has given me a day at home alone. Ahhhhh. The first few hours were nice, synced my iphone, found my BB, sent out an "update email" and some photos of the kids to friends and family (long overdue!), caught up on a few blogs, read some old emails - who said computers would make less work?

The thing is there are so many more things I could do but as I contemplate which to do first the day wears away....swim, read, clean, eat, write, cook, bake, get outside...what I should be doing is absolutely nothing - just resting which is all I want to do when the whole family is home. Now that I have the time I feel I need to make better use of it than resting......

March 19 2011 - It is coming!

I spied tiny spikes of bright green today where the snow had melted away in the garden! Yes, it is coming - spring, summer, warmth, sunshine, bees, hummingbirds, wild raspberries and blackberries!!

With this warmth comes another change - a new job - starting Monday. I am excited but hope I am not jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. It comes with a longer commute but a nicer builder and a bigger paycheque. Hunter is starting a new job in a week and Storm starts kindergarden this fall, so lots of changes afoot - but good positive changes.

December 5, 2010 - Passion

Watched Julie and Julia last night. Neat movie. Big fan of Meryl Streep, I think she did a good job as Julia Childs, not so easy to pull that persona off. Never really knew Julia through her cooking shows, I imagine you either loved her or hated her. Have to admire the relationship she had with her husband. Inspiring life too - finding your passion at nearly 40 (I'm nearly 40). I can empathize with Julie too, stuck in a cubicle to pay the bills when you know what your passion is, but you are unable to kindle it. So close, you can visualize the life you want to live, know you'd be happy living it, but unable to get it started. Frustrating - spinning your tires on ice when all you want to do is GO!

Puss (2004-2010) - October 18, 2010

I lost a good friend this weekend. We buried him down the road under some coniferous trees in a spot touched by the morning sun. He loved to lay in the sun. His friend Max watched our procession down the hill. Did he know his friend lay curled up in the plain brown box my  husband carried?  My little girl cried, I cried, I think even my husband was sad. We didn't say any words as we lay him in a deep hole my husband dug. No words were needed, our tears said it all. We tossed in his favorite treats and his red ball and two purple flowers. My  little girl wanted to know if he needed water to drink too.

We shovelled the dirt back over him - to keep him warm and safe we told her. After a few silent moments we turned and made our way sadly back up the road toward home.

You were a good cat Puss. I'll miss your evening visits and your attempts for attention while I lay reading in bed; the way you'd thrust your head under my book looking for that chin rub and how you'd purr so loudly in contentment when I finally gave in.

I'll miss everything about you, I already do.

Puss tolerating his friend Max

Looking at 20 years, no parole - August 10, 2010

Yesterday was a day of mourning for me - it was the official end of a year reigning my own little queendom, a year of freedom (well somewhat... but that's a long story about an even longer road and no car), my one on one year with Baby Breeze - yes, the end of my maternity leave. It's all gone now for the most part. I have returned to life (okay, I won't be melodramatic, it's really only a 20 year sentence) in A CUBICLE. I refuse to say "reality" because life in THE CUBICLE no way resembles how humans were meant to live.  Prisoners have more freedom.

I walked into a space the size of my kitchen island, looked out a window that was so covered in murkiness I couldn't see the grimy rooftops below. I breathed in and choked - stale, warm air; I looked around at the dirty carpet and chased crumbs from their hiding spot underneath the monitor.

My neurons were rebelling and refused to fire - a meeting within the first hour! I tried to dredge up program history from the web-infested recesses of my working mind. I tried to focus on  the upcoming deadlines, all urgent, all life threatening (my life that is). I couldn't. I didn't want to be there. My mommy brain was waging war with my working brain and it was no contest. I wanted to be outside, walking my baby down the hill, picking wild blackberries, breathing the fresh hilly air - my usual morning routine back home. Heck, I'd rather be changing a corn-infested, highly potent poopy diaper than be there.

My freedom is gone - no more games of chase and tickle with Baby Breeze, no more baking on impulse, catching a few minutes of TV, reading the newest blog postings, pulling a few weeds in the garden. All the spontaneity of life at home is gone.

BUT, I knew I wouldn't be able to face THE CUBICLE and all of its confines five days a week after 13 months at home so I am doing it slowly, no cold turkey for this gal.  Home today and tomorrow the mourning starts all over again. On and off like that over the next few weeks until I can bear a full-time return. But all the while I will be planning my escape.

I used my year wisely...I did some soul-searching while the baby napped :) I found out what truly makes me tick and how I can combine my strengths with my interests to break free from THE CUBICLE. It's going to take time but when you are doing 20 years without parole (no more children for us and 20 years until retirement) time is all you have!

The Garden - July 26, 2010

Back when the perennials were just poking their heads through the soil, I vowed to nurture my garden and make good on that vow by posting photos throughout the season (see March 24/2010 post for photos). Hah. Here is the first photo since then and well, at least the plants are bigger than they were then, that's about all I can say. No time to nurture!

Waterlife - July 12, 2010

Did you watch the documentary "Waterlife" last week on the National Geographic channel?

It was eye opening to say the least. Beautiful, chilling and sad all at the same time. Here's just one example of what I learned watching it:

"You fill your prescription at the pharmacy. The pharmacist says 'be sure you don't take it with any of these 10 things'. But those 10 things are ALL in the water".

If you missed it, I really urge you to check out the award winning website - stunning!

http://waterlife.nfb.ca/

For additional information about the documentary, visit:

http://www.ourwaterlife.com/about.html

You'll never look at a glass or bottle of water the same way again.

Earthquake - June 23, 2010

I just felt my first real earthquake and did not like it one bit (we felt one once before in our first house just to the west of us but it was more of a noise like a truck than anything else)! Typing away here online in my kitchen with baby Breeze finally asleep and what the hell, everything starts rumbling and shaking and it is not stopping! I started to panick - just that out of control feeling of not knowing what is happening was awful. We've had some structural issues with the house and I thought "it's finally happening, the house is falling down". I ran down the hall where the baby was sound asleep, grabbed her, grabbed the phone, ran outside and called my husband. I was hyperventilating and crying like never NEVER before. I felt panicked. You know you are truly alive when you feel like that. My husband calmly told me it was an earthquake and he felt it in the city too. Once I calmed down and I went back inside all I found was one photo tipped over and two pictures on the wall slightly askew. What in God's name was it like for those poor people in Haiti, or Chile, or China? This minor 5.5 quake scared me at my core, what would it be like to experience the devastation those people lived through? I couldn't imagine.

Moths a plenty - June 4, 2010

Having left an exterior light on last night, we woke to find an array of moths resting on the wall of the house this morning:

Beautiful Luna Moth, above.

I still need to identify this rather large moth, above.

Moths are amazing at camoflauge.

Wildlife Death and Disaster - May 27, 2010

Speaking of wildlife death and disaster (see post below from yesterday), the very next night after the hummingbird adventure, Hunter was outside cutting the grass along the roadside when he unfortunately ran over this snake. The picture is blurry but it is the only one I have that doesn't show the grossness of the aftermath (snake vs. lawnmower blade), except for the close up below, which we used to help us identify it:

"Python" came to mind as soon as I saw it and it turns out that it is a constrictor, the only constricting snake in this area - an eastern milk snake. Very saddened that we only got to see it after we'd killed it.

We're now up to having seen four snake species in our neighbourhood: garter, northern watersnake (Hunter found it on the road, it had been hit by a car but still alive, he moved it to safety and only found out after that it is the most aggressive of our snakes - last time I go for a dip in the local lake!), and the tiny redbelly snake.

A Surprise Ending - May 26, 2010

With the girls finally tucked into bed last night, Hunter and I were cooling off on the deck after the heat of the day (+33 in May!). It was a calm and peaceful evening until I spotted Ginger the Cat. She was out in the long grass up to no good as usual.

She had something; something small and fast. A frog, a toad, perhaps a June bug. It was comical to watch at first - flicking it up out of the grass, batting at seemingly thin air. Then, just as quickly, she lost interest and started to walk away, but it moved again, and back she came for round two. Then I heard it or I thought I heard it and it didn't sound like an amphibian or insect, it sounded like a baby bird. I ran down the deck stairs yelling at the cat to get away so by the time I got to the spot Ginger was long gone and I had to search in the long grass to find whatever it was. There was nothing there, must have been a bug after all I thought. Whew. The mosquitoes were voracious last night so I wanted to get inside fast - I was about to walk away when I saw it. A tiny green wing streched upwards, a little black eye, a long beak tucked way down in the long grass.

"Dammit!!" I yelled. "It's one of the hummingbirds!!".  I have the utmost respect for these tiny migrants and feel absolutely horrible when one loses it's life because of us. Last summer, one died after flying into our window.

Hunter was watching me the whole time from the deck above. "Is it dead? Pick it up!"

Now I've done my share of dissections as a young zoology student, I've worked at a wildlife rehab centre where birds are brought in after hitting hydro lines, at a denning site where crows have left garter snakes to die after feasting only on their livers, I've helped move a dead and stinky bear, shot and left to rot by some poacher - I've seen wildlife death and destruction, but I couldn't pick up something that may or may not be dead and bleeding. I don't know why, I guess I am afraid of seeing something in pain and causing it more pain, all I know is I couldn't pick it up.

Hunter came down and looked. It was dead.

"It's alive" he said. It wasn't blinking, it wasn't breathing, it looked dead to me.

I went in search of something to put it in. When I came back out, Hunter was sitting crossed legged in the long grass looking at this tiny little bird lying on her side in his hand, the mosquitoes buzzing all around him. Here was this "big guy", a hunter as his pseudonym suggests, someone that could take down a deer or a moose, sitting like a little boy carefully holding this delicate little bird in his big hand, mindless of the mosquitoes attacking from all sides. It was a moment I won't forget.

 "I think her wings may be broken, but if we leave her out here all night the bugs will get her".  She wasn't moving, I didn't think she had long to live and I didn't want her to spend her last few moments being eaten by ants and other "cleaner uppers".

"Put her out of her misery" I said.

That little bird heard and understood what I said, I am convinced of it, for no sooner were the words out of my mouth did her wings come alive with a buzz that sounded like two bees and she zipped out of my husband's hand and up into the trees as fast as I've seen a hummingbird fly!!

What a moment! We just looked on in awe. A happy ending. Who knew that hummingbirds could play dead?

Strange isn't it? I, who worked at a wildlife rehabilitation centre, so quick to put something out of its misery, yet my husband, a hunter who can take an animal's life, wanting to do what he could to save this tiny little one.


To learn more about these tiny wonders, check out these sites:

http://www.hww.ca/hww2.asp?id=71

http://www.hummingbirds.net/

Just a funny face - May 19, 2010

Not much time to write anymore but then a photo is worth a thousand words isn't it? Or in this case a thousand giggles!

Tuesday April 27, 2010

Life is busy! Between health issues, basement renovations, life with Baby Breeze - who now not only crawls but can walk pushing a bin or chair at 8 months- and Storm who just turned 4 years and has her first dance recital coming up (which means weekly practice, photo shoots, dress rehearsals, searching stores for leotards and makeup!!), yard and garden work, long-distance learning, not to mention daily household chores and trying to come up with 3 healthy meals a day, I am exhausted! I used to get sooo many things done in one day (before kids), now I have to pick and choose what I do while the baby sleeps - working on my blog right now is at the expense of organizing the hall closet or completing the setup of the office (now that we have walls and a floor). Every day I choose a project and focus on that  - laundry, vacuuming, baking, organizing, picking up toys,  (where did they all come from? I think some asexual reproduction is going on while I sleep), etc, etc, etc.We still do not have the full use of the basement which we so desperately need - we are awaiting our tile. Once the floor is in we will have much needed closet and storage space which means everything that's laid out in our rec room right now will be put away and we can start using it as a rec room! Hurray, it's only been 3 years! Then we need to focus on the bathrooms. Renovating this house has been one of the slowest processes, how can that be when the world is spinning so fast and everyone, including me, complains how hurried life has become?

Signs of Spring - April 7, 2010

A few signs of spring I found last weekend....